Peace Now
Martyn Smith
Forgiveness Coach
I am a forgiveness and shame expert. I know exactly how to get very anxious very quickly and am a world-class expert in the field of nervousness and worry. I struggled with multiple mental health issues for many years, including depression, depersonalisation and derealisation, anxiety, narcissism and suicidal ideation.
I reached such a lack of awareness that it led me into the heart of darkness. Distorted fragments of this journey are littered over the Internet as partial evidence of these shadow manifestations.
Abuse, manipulation, intimidation, cruelty, defamation, violation, threats and wrong-doings have all been committed against me. They are scars from my past but do not define who I am today.
Fortunately, through the help and teachings of others, I have overcome many of the blocks that were holding me back. I am truly grateful for this guidance. Now, using everything I have learnt and experienced, I help and assist others dealing with their struggles.
I can help you overcome the barriers to create the greatest possible version of yourself. My greatest gift is being able to take whatever trauma you are experiencing and transforming this energy into a power to create good.
I am living proof that you can heal your life no matter what you have done or what has been done to you.
Finding Out You're the Problem
There comes a humbling moment in life when you realise—you might be the problem. For those navigating criminality or psychopathy, this realisation can be even more profound. It’s not an easy truth to confront, especially in a world where blame is often externalised, reactions are justified, and perspectives are clung to as a means of survival. Yet, with time, courage, and self-reflection, the fog begins to lift. Patterns of harm, conflict, or disconnection reveal a common denominator: ourselves. This isn’t about shame or condemnation; it’s about growth and accountability. Recognising traits like impulsivity, manipulation, or emotional detachment isn’t a moral failing—it’s a step toward understanding the human condition.
The real transformation begins when we meet these traits with compassion rather than judgment. Criticising or punishing ourselves only reinforces destructive behaviours. But asking, “Why do I react this way? What need am I trying to meet?” opens the door to healing. True change doesn’t come from external punishment or societal rejection—it comes from internal understanding. The goal isn’t perfection, but progress. It’s the willingness to say, “I’ve caused harm, but I want to do better.”
This kind of self-awareness is a quiet yet powerful force. It can disrupt cycles of harm, soften the hardened ego, and create space for genuine connection. In the broader circles of influence within society, this healing ripples outward. When individuals take responsibility for their actions and work toward change, it reduces the burden on communities, fosters trust, and strengthens relationships.
So, when you find yourself mirrored in the frustration or pain of others, take a moment to pause. Growth begins there—in the honest, hopeful willingness to change. And as we heal ourselves, we contribute to the healing of society, creating a ripple effect that transforms not just individuals, but the systems and communities we touch.
Let It Go Now
What I Can Actively Help With
Procrastination
Procrastination was the bane of my life for many, many years. Even after reading much about it, from the neuroscience to the habits one should keep, I failed to change my ways. I can now share what alluded me all this time.
Panic Attacks
Panic attacks can feel so awful that they can often be mistaken for the start of a heart attack. I know all too well the sheer fear that can appear seemingly out of the blue. Thankfully I have not had one for over four years now.
Narcissism
Narcissism is quite elusive in both its manifestations and diagnosis. It is a trait that many do wish to recognise in themselves because of the weight of the negative connotations that come along with such a label. However, it can be very liberating when these traits are identified as they can be dissolved.
Anxiety
There are several types of anxiety disorders and a spectrum of how debilitating they can be. The triggering of this feeling is likely to depend on the environment and the situation a person is in or when they think about a specific topic, event or memory. I use techniques that eliminate these associations and therefore remove the anxiety.
Depersonilsation and Derealisation
Depersonalisation and derealisation are separate forms of disassociation, usually related to anxiety or a similar disorder. I have experience with both of them and getting over this, in particular, has been one of the topics of great interest to me.
Depression
Suffering from depression is worse than feeling sad or melancholic. I can testify that there is a heavy numbness that encases the body. For me, it also manifests as fatigue and lethargy. All I would want to do usually was sleep until it was over. Pervading thoughts of worthlessness would invade my mind in the most intense waves, even reaching the levels of suicidal ideation. Thankfully, I am in the position to have a psychological toolkit to prevent getting into these states.
Shame cast a long shadow over my life for countless years. Despite delving into everything I could find on the subject—from psychological insights to well-meaning advice on how to overcome it—I remained stuck in its grip. Fortunately, I now have the tools to overcome such blocks.
